STRUCTURE = SUCCESS

To home school or not to home school? That is the question being analyzed by researchers at Concordia and Mount Allison Universities. Their study of 74 children, half being schooled in a structured home environment and half at a public school, indicated that the winner is... A STRUCTURED HOME SCHOOLING ENVIRONMENT! As a matter of fact, their studies indicated that children who receive structured homeschooling had increased levels in all subject areas, including math, reading and writing. Moreover, the study found that children who were learning in unstructured homeschooling environments were more likely to have lower test scores than children in structured homeschooling and public schools. What does this study confirm? It confirms that parents should SET THEIR KIDS UP FOR SUCCESS BY PROVIDING THEM WITH STRUCTURE, ORGANIZATION AND SCHEDULES!

Parents, when you provide your children with structure, this means that you are asserting and establishing your parental authority and control in a responsible manner, by encouraging healthy growth and development in your children. This means that YOU are in control, not your child, and that you are setting him/her up for success! You are teaching your child about good work ethic, hard work, dedication, follow through, discipline, achievement and morals/values. Isn't this what every parent wants? Just imagine if you never would have put rules in place about your child running into the street-- That would be extremely dangerous! Just like we set our kids up to understand safety concerns, we need to set them up to understand what it takes to achieve academic success.


Here are some tips about positive and negative consequences that you can use to get your child to follow the structure that you have put into place:

1. Establish Family Rules:

• Make sure that you provide your children with specific, clearly defined rules. For example, instead of saying 'No hitting,' be more specific: 'No hitting your brother.'
• Ensure that your rules are attainable! Do not outline that your child must set the table if he/she cannot reach the dishes/If your rule is 'All children in our house should work to achieve grades of 80% or higher,' make sure that your child is able to achieve that goal.
  
• Make a list of rules and then present them to your children. Discuss them so that everyone understands what is expected of them.
  

2. Use Rewards to Increase Positive Behavior:

• If you are providing your child with a reward to reinforce positive behavior, it is best to do so immediately after the behavior has occurred.
  
• Make a list of desirable and appropriate behaviors so that everyone in your household can clearly identify them.
  
• Reward DOES NOT mean a gift or money. There are other ways to give your child a reward:

1. Acknowledge the desired/appropriate behavior: "I noticed that you listened well when I was giving you instructions. Thank you."
2. Express appreciation or approval: "I like when you clean up your toys!"
3. Praise the behavior: "Great job!"
4. Show interest in your child and the activities the he/she is doing: "I see that you are building a house out of blocks, can you explain to me what you're making?"
5. Smile, give your child a hug or a pat on the back.
   
6. Participate in an activity with your child: "You listened really well. Would you like to play a game with mom?"
7. Give your child the treat of doing something he/she loves: Give your child 15 extra minutes on the computer or watching television, take your child to a movie or to the park or take him/her swimming or skating. When using these rewards, try putting into place a points system so your child can work his/her way up to this special treat.
   

3. Use Consequences to Reduce Inappropriate/Undesirable Behavior:

• Discuss the details and consequences of your Family Rules when everyone is calm and your child is not misbehaving.
  
• Explain why the rules are important: "It is important to put your toys away when you are finished playing with them because someone could trip over them and get hurt."
• When your child exhibits an inappropriate behavior acknowledge how he/she feels: "I understand that you were angry so you hit your sister."
  
• Explain how you feel when your child exhibits inappropriate behavior by using I Statements: "I feel ______ when you ________."
  
• Explain the impact that the inappropriate behavior can have: "When you hit your sister you can hurt her."
  
• Re-state your expectation and help your child make a plan of action the next time something happens: "The next time you are angry with your sister please come tell me so I can help you deal with it in a better way."
  

By implementing this type of structure, you can help your child to succeed! These are skills that your child will take to school and can help him/her develop an excellent work ethic, can-do attitude and better listen and follow directions.

If you have a suggestion for my next blog, please feel free to send me an email at robin@brightsidelearning.com .