The Fish that Felt Blue

Albert Einstein summarized the problem with standards and norms perfectly: "Everybody is a genius.  But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing it is stupid." Let me make something very clear: I do not believe in stupid or bad children. That being said, I do believe that everybody learns differently and that we need to work to tap in to the potential of every child.  When we as a society address children as unique individuals, only then will we be able to help increase levels of self-esteem and worth, decrease school dropout rates, decrease incidences of bullying and create a world where success comes in many shapes and sizes.  When we stop judging children based on their ability to cope with standardized testing, we open the doors for them to use their potential and thrive-- we help them to stop feeling like the fish who just couldn't.  

Let me explain further... 

Although the world would be a lovely place if each child could simply use the area of intelligence that they thrived in to live their lives successfully, our society is not designed this way.  Instead, we use standardized systems of educational achievements for children to climb the academic ladder.  Herein lies the problem: some children learn differently than 'the norm' and this system does not work for them.  As a result, we end up asking children to take on the role of the fish and climb a tree

As a result, we end up asking children to do things that they cannot do, just as a fish would not be able to climb a tree; both are not armed with the proper tools and strategies.  When the fish is asked to climb a tree and cannot do it, he becomes depressed, feels unworthy and not good enough, he develops low self-esteem, can become anxious, etc.  The fish feels incapable and stupid.  Now--- if only the fish had been given some tools so that he could succeed!

Let's brainstorm about how a fish could climb a tree: 

• The tree could be moved to the bottom of the ocean or a large swimming pool.  This way, the fish would be able to climb the tree by swimming up it. 
• Small fish bowls could be placed at every step along a ladder all the way to the top of the tree and the fish could jump from bowl to bowl until he has reach the top.
• The fish could ask for help-- he could find a human to climb the tree while holding him in his fish bowl.  
• Etc., etc., etc.

These ideas are completely unconventional and even seem a little bit silly.  BUT THE END RESULT IS THE SAME: THE FISH MAKES IT TO THE TOP OF THE TREE!  And these are the emotions that accompany his success: joy and pride, accomplishment, confidence, self-satisfaction and self-worth.  He was able to overcome a huge obstacle, now understands what success feels like, and wants more.  He feels capable, like he can face the world!  Now, imagine what would happen if we equipped all children with the tools and strategies that they needed to achieve success?  What a positive influence this would have..... 

Here's the proof: 

When I first began working with John, he had just entered his first semester in Cegep and was overwhelmed, anxious and had low self-esteem.  He simply believed that he could not do it and that everyone else was better and smarter than him.   He had a learning disability, had difficulty understanding and remembering what he was reading, and was unable to organize himself.  He wanted to be successful but doubted that it was possible.  As I worked with John over a period of six months, he slowly became confident and organized.  I showed him how to take notes on what he was reading, I helped him brainstorm and outline essays, I helped him use his agenda effectively, and I helped him increase his grades.  Along with all of these successes, John began to feel better, his self-esteem improved, he felt like he was capable and valuable, and he became more independent in his learning process.  ALL HE NEEDED WERE THE TOOLS AND STRATEGIES.  John realized that he could succeed!

If it can work for John, it can also work for your child.  Never forget that your child's potential can always be brought forth-- Never give up on your child!  Just make sure that he gets the help and tools that he needs!  Stay tuned for announcements about parent coaching seminars, where you will have the opportunity to ask specific questions related to your own life and receive support in the form of hands-on success methods!  


If you would like more information about Academic Coaching, please contact (514) 242-5162 or www.brightsidelearning.com .