PLEASE CARE ABOUT THE SOCIETY THAT WE LIVE IN!

After all of the negative news I've read about this week related to education in Quebec, the way teachers treat students and a student bringing a gun to school in Toronto, I thought that I'd take this opportunity to share something positive.  So I opened up my Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul book from high school and began reading. And VOILA!  Enjoy!

Always remember that one person can make a difference.  Here are two stories as proof:

Always Return Your Phone Calls
Anonymous

Angela knew that Charlotte, her best friend, was having a rough time.  Charlotte was moody and depressed.  She was withdrawn around everyone except for Angela.  She instigated arguments with her mom and had violent confrontations with her sister.  Most of all, Charlotte's bleak and desperate poetry worried Angela.

No one was on particularly good speaking terms with Charlotte that summer.  For most of her friends, Charlotte had become to difficult.  They had no interest in hanging out with someone who was so bleak and in so much pain.  Their attempts to 'be a friend' were met with angry accusations of depressed indifference.

Angela was the only one who could reach her.  Although she would have liked to be outside, Angela spent most of her time inside with her troubled friend.  Then a day came when Angela had to move.  She was going just across town, but Charlotte would no longer be her neighbor, and they would be spending far less time together.

The first day in her new neighborhood, out playing with her new neighbors, Angela wondered how Charlotte was doing.  When she got home, shortly before twilight, her mother told her that Charlotte had called.

Angela went to the phone to return the call.  No answer.  She left a message on Charlotte's machine.  "Hi Charlotte, it's Angela.  Call me back."

About half an hour later Charlotte called.  "Angela, I have to tell you something.  When you called, I was in the basement.  I had a gun to my head.  I was about to kill myself, but then I heard your voice on the machine upstairs." Angela collapsed into her chair. "When I heard your voice I realized someone loves me, and I am so lucky that it is you.  I'm going to go get help, because I love you too."

Charlotte hung up the phone.  Angela went right over to Charlotte's house, and they sat on the porch swing and cried.

Courage in Action

By Bill Saunders

A couple of years ago, I witnessed courage that ran chills up and down my spine. At a high school assembly, I had spoken about picking on people and how each of us has the ability to stand up for people instead of putting them down. 

Afterwards, we had a time when anyone could come out of the bleachers and speak into the microphone.  Students could say thank-you to someone who had helped them, and some people came up and did just that.  A girl thanked some friends who had helped her through family troubles.  A boy spoke of some people who supported him during an emotionally difficult time.

Then a senior girl stood up.  She stepped over to the microphone, pointed to the sophomore section and challenged her whole school.  "Let's stop picking on that boy.  Sure, he's different from us, but we are in this thing together.  On the inside he's no different from us and needs our acceptance, love, compassion and approval.  He needs a friend.  Why do we continually brutalize him and put him down? I'm challenging this entire school to lighten up on him and give him a chance!"

All the time she shared, I had my back to the section where the boy sat, and I had no idea who he was.  But obviously, the school knew.  I felt almost afraid to look at his section, thinking the boy must be red in the face, wanting to crawl under his seat and hide from the world. 

But as I glanced back, I saw a boy smiling from ear to ear.  His whole body bounced up and down, and he raised one fist in the air.  His body language said, "Thank you, thank you.  Keep telling them.  You saved my life today!"

Digital Citizenship? Really?

When I read the news story about Marshall Brooks, the 17 year old student in Hudson who was severely beaten in front of approximately 50 students, who were busy recording the fight and posting it to Youtube, I was disgusted but not shocked.  I actually wished, however, to be shocked by something of such an awful nature.  I figure that if I could be shocked then maybe others would be too, thus leading to preventative action finally being implemented in our schools.... No such luck though.  

Recently at the library, I came across the book, Playground, written by 50 Cent.  It is the story of a bully, and it is based on experiences from his own adolescence.  The first few chapters are vivid and disturbing; they describe the in-depth details of a fight that took place: 

I knew what I had to do, and I couldn't wait to do it.  Not to get it over with, but to savor every last second of it.  My sweet revenge... After lunch the playground was more crowded than usual, and that suited my purposes fine.  "Hey, Maurice!"  I called out when I saw him sitting on the bench by the monkey bars.  He was alone... When I said his name, Maurice looked up at me with a funny expression, almost like he knew what was about to happen.  But I play fair, so I gave him a chance to defend himself.  "Hey, Maurice, I think it's time you learned what happens when you talk s--- about me,... There's only one way I can think of to keep your mouth shut, and that's to shut it myself."  Maurice rose from the bench, and now his expression was definitely frightened.  He put down his book and took a few steps toward me, and that's when I gave it to him.  I reached into my pocked and BAM! I whacked Maurice right across that self-satisfied grin of his, and I pounded those batteries into his teeth over and over until I felt something come loose... I'd barely even gotten started when Maurice collapsed onto the asphalt with both hands clasped over his mouth, and how the blood flew everywhere until it seemed to be coming out of his ears... When I pulled my hand away from his face, I suddenly became aware of how the whole scene had gone completely silent all around us: how all of those kids just stood there staring at me like I was finally something.  I'd be lying if I said that didn't feel pretty damn good.

This is a scene that 50 Cent is describing based on when he was in high school... in the 80's??  Violence in schools has been going on for years.  But for some reason, the school boards have not been interested in addressing this issue.  Why work on teaching children about morals and values when instead, we can teach them about... digital citizenship???  Yes... You read that correctly: DIGITAL CITIZENSHIP!  The main difference between the incident that 50 Cent was describing and the incident that occurred in Hudson is the use of technology.  The school board does not seem to have a problem with the violent beating that occurred... Instead, what they have a problem with is that students were recording it and posting it online.  Well, if there's one positive thing about technology, its that things cannot easily be hidden anymore!  

Of course, this type of public exposure does have a major negative consequence: a desensitization to violence.  I remember when the Columbine shooting occurred in 1999.  I was in my final year of high school and I was glued to CNN and every other news station.  Shock and panic and grief struck North America.  Questions were being thrown all over the place: what is happening to our youth?  The media was following that story for weeks.  Nobody could talk about anything else.  Now let me ask you a question: did you know that there was a school shooting in Ohio in February 2012 where five students were injured?  I bet the answer is no!  Look at how desensitized our society has become!  Just 13 years ago, we were shocked by this type of story.  Over time, it has become 'normalized'... and acceptable???

By the way, in case you were wondering, the school board has agreed to bring someone into the school to discuss what the role of a bystander should be. I want to point out that this is BRILLIANT...  particularly since most people can recite the roles and characteristics of the bully, the victim and the bystander.  What they actually need help with is the ACTION part, especially since studies indicate that people in groups are less likely to take individual action, since they believe that someone else will do it.  For me, this is besides the point.  Is it really necessary for us to live in a reactionary society?  Must we always be in crisis?

I have a much better question: what about PREVENTION???  WHO IS TAKING CARE OF OUR CHILDREN?  According to the article in the Montreal Gazette, the police are saying it's not their responsibility; they are passing it on to the schools.  The schools are saying that they don't want to deal with it, so they are passing it on to community organizations, in a very limited manner.... Do you know that I helped design an anti-bullying social skills program that the schools have completely shut out?  Their response: we already have these programs.... Well where are they??????  

Oh yeah! Let's not forget the government's role in all this... In a previous post, I explained that the government's anti-bullying plan consisted in hoping that people would turn into model citizens.  Lovely.  So we are living in a society where everyone is blaming the dog and our children are being brutally attacked.  AGAIN... WHO IS HELPING OUR CHILDREN?????

When we really begin to understand the issue of bullying, there are some trends that are apparent.  One of the most striking is this: children who are bullies and children who are victims both feel like they are not a part of the group.  They could be having difficulties fitting in at home, at school, with their peers... They feel alone.  My idea is this: work to make bonds with children and they will not feel the need to bully others.  Work to make bonds with children and they will have the confidence to stand up for themselves.  Let a child trust and not be let down; they will understand what being trustworthy means and exhibit noble, honest and positive behaviors.  Let's make connections with our children, let them be heard and stop letting them fall through the cracks!  Living in Montreal, we know the harm that potholes and broken sidewalks cause (holes in tires and twisted ankles), which transforms into broken hearts and physical harm for our children.  


Today, I challenge you to stand up for our children: do not allow your child's school to brush aside or make excuses for its violence and bullying problems.  Hold your principals and school board representatives accountable.  Fight for your child's right to be safe at school!  Because if you don't stand up for your child, then who will?


http://www.montrealgazette.com/Hudson+student+severe+beating+recorded+YouTube/6469451/story.html

http://www.montrealgazette.com/school+beating+YouTube/6482127/story.html

http://www.montrealgazette.com/life/Watching+Bully+Reformed+bully+onetime+victim+screen+film+together/6473974/story.html

Please feel free to contact me if you require any further information about any of topics covered in this blog at: www.brightsidelearning.com .  

 

The Fish that Felt Blue

Albert Einstein summarized the problem with standards and norms perfectly: "Everybody is a genius.  But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing it is stupid." Let me make something very clear: I do not believe in stupid or bad children. That being said, I do believe that everybody learns differently and that we need to work to tap in to the potential of every child.  When we as a society address children as unique individuals, only then will we be able to help increase levels of self-esteem and worth, decrease school dropout rates, decrease incidences of bullying and create a world where success comes in many shapes and sizes.  When we stop judging children based on their ability to cope with standardized testing, we open the doors for them to use their potential and thrive-- we help them to stop feeling like the fish who just couldn't.  

Let me explain further... 

Although the world would be a lovely place if each child could simply use the area of intelligence that they thrived in to live their lives successfully, our society is not designed this way.  Instead, we use standardized systems of educational achievements for children to climb the academic ladder.  Herein lies the problem: some children learn differently than 'the norm' and this system does not work for them.  As a result, we end up asking children to take on the role of the fish and climb a tree

As a result, we end up asking children to do things that they cannot do, just as a fish would not be able to climb a tree; both are not armed with the proper tools and strategies.  When the fish is asked to climb a tree and cannot do it, he becomes depressed, feels unworthy and not good enough, he develops low self-esteem, can become anxious, etc.  The fish feels incapable and stupid.  Now--- if only the fish had been given some tools so that he could succeed!

Let's brainstorm about how a fish could climb a tree: 

• The tree could be moved to the bottom of the ocean or a large swimming pool.  This way, the fish would be able to climb the tree by swimming up it. 
• Small fish bowls could be placed at every step along a ladder all the way to the top of the tree and the fish could jump from bowl to bowl until he has reach the top.
• The fish could ask for help-- he could find a human to climb the tree while holding him in his fish bowl.  
• Etc., etc., etc.

These ideas are completely unconventional and even seem a little bit silly.  BUT THE END RESULT IS THE SAME: THE FISH MAKES IT TO THE TOP OF THE TREE!  And these are the emotions that accompany his success: joy and pride, accomplishment, confidence, self-satisfaction and self-worth.  He was able to overcome a huge obstacle, now understands what success feels like, and wants more.  He feels capable, like he can face the world!  Now, imagine what would happen if we equipped all children with the tools and strategies that they needed to achieve success?  What a positive influence this would have..... 

Here's the proof: 

When I first began working with John, he had just entered his first semester in Cegep and was overwhelmed, anxious and had low self-esteem.  He simply believed that he could not do it and that everyone else was better and smarter than him.   He had a learning disability, had difficulty understanding and remembering what he was reading, and was unable to organize himself.  He wanted to be successful but doubted that it was possible.  As I worked with John over a period of six months, he slowly became confident and organized.  I showed him how to take notes on what he was reading, I helped him brainstorm and outline essays, I helped him use his agenda effectively, and I helped him increase his grades.  Along with all of these successes, John began to feel better, his self-esteem improved, he felt like he was capable and valuable, and he became more independent in his learning process.  ALL HE NEEDED WERE THE TOOLS AND STRATEGIES.  John realized that he could succeed!

If it can work for John, it can also work for your child.  Never forget that your child's potential can always be brought forth-- Never give up on your child!  Just make sure that he gets the help and tools that he needs!  Stay tuned for announcements about parent coaching seminars, where you will have the opportunity to ask specific questions related to your own life and receive support in the form of hands-on success methods!  


If you would like more information about Academic Coaching, please contact (514) 242-5162 or www.brightsidelearning.com .

I heard you say it-- Check out West Island Mommies today!

WORD OF MOUTH has undergone many changes throughout history.  Its definition is simple: it is the passing of information from one person to the other via oral communication.  Its oldest form is storytelling.  It also takes the form of oral tradition, folklore and mythology.  Why am I bringing all this up you may wonder?  Am I going to teach a history lesson?  Lol--- No.   I simply want to comment about how important word of mouth is in our society!  I want everyone to realize that word of mouth may be one of the single-most important marketing strategies to exist today--- especially with all of the social media that can help it thrive!  

It seems like everybody has launched a social media campaign these days.  Facebook, Twitter, Linked In, Pinterest, etc. are just a few social media sites that are helping organizations build a name for themselves. But how do you know that these organizations are good-- how do you know that they will do what they say they will do?  ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOUR CHILDREN!  Remember: your children are the most important and valuable possession (for lack of a better word) that you have.  You must always know who you are entrusting your children to! 

That is why organizations such as West Island Mommies are crucial to ensuring validity and safety when entrusting your children to a service,

organization or person that has not personally been recommended to you. 

West Island Mommies is run by two self-employed moms, Tina Wentzell and Laura Bodnik.  Both mothers of four year olds, they wanted to develop an online forum for parent resources that specifically targeted the West Island area.  They now have a Facebook page with over 650 followers and have recently launched a beautiful, bright and vibrant website.  The idea is that parents in the West Island can share and recommend resources and be in the know about everything that is child-friendly.  What better way to find out about resources through word of mouth?

West Island Mommies is currently developing a resource directory and a forum, has a blog and updates their Facebook page several times per day, providing followers with the most up-to-date information.  They are amazing at providing information, not just about services and recommendations, but also product recalls, safety issues concerning the West Island, where to find great coupons, and everything else you could imagine.  They have a business of the week and giveaways every Wednesday.  Like I said before, what else could you ask for?  

'Like' them on Facebook today at http://www.facebook.com/WestIslandMommies and visit their website at www.westislandmommies.com .  Enjoy!