Changing your expections

If you change your expectations then you won't be disappointed. This is something that my mother always told me... To the point where, as a teenager, if I heard her say it one more time, I was going to scream! But now, I understand why she wanted to instill this idea in me. She did not want me to feel hurt. As I am slowly discovering, life is all about setting and achieving goals.  When we meet these goals, we feel successful; when we do not meet these goals, we feel a sense of failure and disappointment.  As if that wasn't enough PRESSURE and STRESS... Our society dictates that we set extremely high expectations for ourselves and push these expectations on our kids; we should never be happy with what we have and always want more; we should continue on with things that do not make us happy so that we can show dedication, perseverance and complete tasks that are given to us. We need to do these things to prove that we are motivated to succeed and accomplish what is expected of us.  But who has laid out the path that we walk along? And who has decided what is enough and what is too little? And who decides what is satisfactory and what is not? Is it okay for us to let society define the answers to these questions? Not when it comes to making life a little bit easier for our kids, it's not.

It is extremely important  that when we set goals and/or expectations for our children that we base them on the capabilities that they actually have.  DO NOT LET SOCIETY SET THESE GOALS FOR YOU!  Society decides what 'normal' is and we all work to reach this normality or strive above it.  But what actually is 'normal'?  Is anybody 'normal'?  Can all children beviewed through a standardized lens, have standardized goals and expectations placed on them and then succeed in a standardized and normal way?  I'm sure you've guessed my answer.... NO!

When setting expectations and goals for your child, make sure to set goals that your child can achieve!  Think about it-- You join a gym because you want to lose weight.  You set your goal to be 8 pounds in the first week.  You lose 3.  We all know that unless someone is extremely overweight and a competitor on The Biggest Loser, that an 8 or more pound weight loss is an extremely, sometimes impossible, goal to achieve.  Knowing this would you set yourself up for failure or set up a goal that is achievable and reasonable?  The same logic applies to setting grade goals for your child.  Decrease the grade goals that you set for your child; this way when he/she does receive an extremely high grade, you will be able to experience pride and excitement with your child!  Be your child's biggest support and experience the accomplishments with them! 

If you have a specific question or topic that you would like to see in my next blog, email me at robin@brightsidelearning.com