We
make excuses all the time! I witness it every day. I, for one, am
a pro at it. Pro- CRASTINATOR that is. I procrastinate when doing
everything. If my family is coming over for dinner at 6:00pm, I will
literally wait until 5:55pm to start preparing a salad. If I have a
deadline for a paper, I will start the day before. I procrastinate at
everything. As a university student, I may have been the worst procrastinator
to EVER exist. If I had a final exam at 5:45pm, I would shlep myself to a
coffee shop at 8:00am with all my books and study non-stop until 10 minutes
before the exam, at which point I would pack up and run over to write it.
People could not understand how I would get A's and B's in my courses.
Neither could I; what I do understand is that these methods generally do not work and that's why I NEVER teach them to my students!
So
why do we procrastinate? My favorite saying about procrastination comes
from a book that I once stumbled upon: Eat That Frog!, by Brian Tracy:
(http://www.scribd.com/doc/4307283/FREE-EXCERPT-Eat-That-Frog-21-Great-Ways-to-Stop-Procrastinating-and-Get-More-Done-in-Less-Time)
Mark Twain once said that if the first thing you do each morning is to eat a live frog, you
can go through the day with the satisfaction of knowing that that is probably
the worst thing that is going to happen to you all day long. Your “frog” is
your biggest, most important task, the one you are most likely to procrastinate on if you don't do something about it. It is also the one task
that can have the greatest positive impact on your life and results at the moment.
The first rule of frog eating is this: If you have to eat two frogs,eat the ugliest one first.
The second rule of frog eating is this: If you have to eat a live frog at all, it doesn't pay to sit and look at it for very long.
I
will be the first one to admit that mine are not the best ways of getting
things done; I should probably not even be admitting to this type of
behavior, since it is my job to help students rectify these bad habits
(and all of the students that I work with do change their time management
styles by the way!). But we need to be able to identify between
procrastinating and avoiding the 'smaller, everyday stuff' and the 'bigger,
more important stuff.'
One
observation that I've made is that as a society, we wait until there is a major
crisis to intervene and take action. We are almost procrastinating so
that we do not need to face our worse fears. One area where we cannot
procrastinate is when it comes to helping our children to excel, not only
academically, but as contributing, valuable and empathetic members of society.
Too
many times, I see parents not wanting to face the fact that their children need
help. Instead, they ignore it, admit to themselves that they are doing
the best they can and get used to this way of life. They resolve that
their children will just end up being the way that they are, normalize what is
going on or address issues as emergencies. Instead, why don't we admit to
ourselves that there is a problem and take control? We actually choose
to let a giant, green, smelly and slimy frog sit on our shoulders, instead of
just facing our fears, admitting that help is needed, going out and getting the
right type of help and DEALING WITH THE ISSUES! I know that this is
hard. I've personally had to face many issues and it has been
difficult. But the end result is well worth it. When we can use
preventative measures instead of emergency reactionary measures to deal with
life, we all benefit. ESPECIALLY OUR CHILDREN.
By
taking control, we teach our children that we need to fix problems immediately,
in a responsible and mature way. We need to deal with things and move on
so that we can be happy. And we also teach them that admitting to and
facing problems will not deteriorate who they are as a person; in fact, it will
only make them stronger, more resilient contributing members of society. So
instead of using excuses and blaming the dog, let's teach our kids to take
control and take action; advocate for themselves!
Parents!
Let's pull together to support one another! Raising the next generation
is difficult! Life becomes more complicated, more difficult, perhaps more
overwhelming, with time. But even so, the worse incidences of dog-blaming
occur when they affect our children; emotionally, psychologically and/or
academically.
If
you are concerned that your child may be facing difficulties, please feel free
to contact me. I will be happy to refer you to the right resource/provide
you with guidance. I can be reached at: robin@brightsidelearning.com .
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